It wasn’t until I was 40 years old that I truly understand how God has had His hand in my life.  Everything in my life, up to that point, was to prepare me for leading almost 1000 men and women in combat.  This included my two years as a banker, twenty-five years as a law enforcement officer, twenty-plus years in the National Guard, my college years, and even my high school geometry!  He was preparing me as a leader, and to be a Godly leader; one who may have put mission first, but Soldiers always!

I found a peace in this knowledge. A strange peace in a time and place where the fog of war could blind and paralyze. But this peace guided me through my duties and responsibilities. After twelve-months in daily combat, we sustained many casualties, but we had no one killed in action. This is what I truly believe was God’s plan for me since before I was born. He knew me and shaped me for that deployment. 

When I returned from war, I felt the traumas and doubts. For a while I was afraid that God’s plan for me was fulfilled and that He would soon call me home. But that wasn’t true. That was just noise that I allowed to overpower His voice for a while. But after realizing it takes the strength of a warrior to ask for help, and through the love and support of my family, I sought and received that help, and was able to hear God with clarity once again. He made my footsteps dry and set me back on the path that He forged for me, and I continued to serve Him, my country, and state, and continued to lead Soldiers for another seventeen years.

In 1982 I wrote a song title “From Your Love” based upon Romans 8:38-39.  Here are the lyrics: “You hold me close. In your loving arms. And you tell me that You’ll never let me go. I see Your love. All around me now. I hear the wind whisper Your name. You say You need me. I will follow You. I will never be from Your love. From Your love. From Your love. I will never be from Your love. You knocked but once. On the door of my life. I opened up and let You in. The chains of sin were heavy upon my soul. You took the key and set me free. I will praise You all the days of my life. I will never be from Your love. From Your love. From Your love. I will never be from Your love.”

Now that I’m in the third act of my life, retirement, I have found a different peace. Oh, the fog of war is still there, and will be with me for the rest of my days, but I can see God’s light penetrating through and guiding me along this new branch of His path for me. I’m enjoying my life in newer ways, and still trying to serve Him through the gifts He has provided.  I play more guitar and try to write and record again. I paint with oils, watercolors, and acrylics.  I work on classic cars. I travel with my wife. We watch our son follow God’s path for him.

I find myself smiling more because even though acts one and two are complete, I know that when the final curtain call comes, my mission on this planet will finally be complete and I will go home to His kingdom in the sky and serve in His Army there with Him at the front.