In my early years I saw God as a larger version of my step-dad, loving & protective yet ready to “bring down the law” for any misstep. I was a little afraid of them both. My biological father had abandoned me at a young age, which led me to believe that I was disposable and worthless. So I became a people-pleaser looking for love in all the wrong places.

My younger sister, Rita, had a heart for love from an early age. When she was old enough she set her heart on God and never let go. She spent hours everyday searching for Him and who she was to Him. She argued, laughed and cried with Him. She felt loved and safe with Him. She knew God and had fun spending time with Him.

Witnessing Rita’s dedication to building a relationship with God helped change the way I looked at my life. God loves all parts of us, broken or not. We are treasured. I know I am loved no matter how many awful things l’ve done or said.

Learning that there is no hiding from God’s love, only resting in it if we choose, healed my aching heart. I learned to love myself by loving God first.