I was born into the Church culture, literally, with my father and grandfather both being ministers. I was taught to love God and Jesus, the Son of God, from a very early age. And I did. I know all the Bible stories, Christian teachings, and Christian culture.
In my mid-thirties, I hit a major crisis. My world blew up and my belief in church teachings got shaken to the core. Why was I so messed up when I had worked so hard to do it “God’s way”? I was angry, extremely wounded, and felt betrayed and lied to by all. I threw down everything I thought I knew and slowly reassessed each belief that I thought was true.
But what was really true? Jesus was never up for grabs – I kept him and held on. He met me in my pain and with Him we walked through the pain, the lies, the truth, the hard questions. I got very real with Him and questioned all that I had been raised to believe. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, and it became very clear to me how much I really, desperately needed His Saving power. I was messed up inside and no one could fix it but Him. Through this process, He became the one I trusted the most with the deepest parts of my soul – because I discovered He didn’t reject me even when it was awful. Instead, He healed those inner wounds.
During this period, I met Rita and through her fresh, un-churchy perspective, God, at critical moments, threw me lifelines that pulled me out of religious activity (though sincere) and out of some misguided teachings that had me constricted. He shifted my paradigms (mind blown) and set me on a path of an amazing partnership and relationship with the one person (God Himself) who loves me best and knows me to my core.
Many years and adventures later I continue to walk closely with God and have learned how to take what is good and leave what is not when it comes to Church culture and religion. I love God with all my heart and I still love the Christian people. I am one. I continue to discover who my True Self is in this partnership with Jesus and it continues to produce real freedom and wholeness and an unshakeable hope for my future that is not based on world happenings or personal trials but is rooted in His Love and a personal relationship with Him.